It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
