Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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