So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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