I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
