Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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