why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
