She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
