Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
