she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
