she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
