What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize