made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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