dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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