So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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