I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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