Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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