I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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