I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i came on her dog
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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