But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
