I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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