she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
