That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
