Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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