i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
