Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
