my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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