i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
