Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
