well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
