I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
