Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
