I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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