Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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