yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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