awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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