How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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