Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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