sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
