Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
