If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
