I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
