I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
