I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
