Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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