ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
