Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
