non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
