You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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