..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
