The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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