I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
